Self-Confident Choices | Local Life Coach, Marissa Patrick

One’s Self-Confidence level directs individuals on the principles which cultivates how to think about themselves and therefore effects those around them. This is done purely on a mental level. Meaning it is hard to hold confidence in yourself if you don’t think you are going to do well at something. The obvious question after that is, “well how do I do that?” Remove that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible; daily.

Example…..think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam, right? But if you studied and you know you studied hard; you’re going to be prepared, and you’ll be much more confident in the end results. Now think of life as your exam, and preparing yourself for the pop quizzes, tests & exams life throws at you. If you show people around you that you are well-liked and thought highly of, they are likely to follow that same mentality and agree with the image being projected. You indirectly are teaching people how to treat you by how you project & treat yourself. This is both on a verbal and non-verbal playing field.

If one walks around with their head held high, they speak clearly & dress in a clean and “hip” fashion –this will send a totally different image to others versus that same person sitting by themselves with their head down with a sob face, muffled tone to their voice & a disheveled wardrobe. Actually, let’s remove the clothing aspect all together. Just because you have the ability to dress nice, doesn’t cover the tone of your voice or the non-verbal cues one can send out.

The truth is you can’t make people think a certain way about you. You can only give them a little push in the right direction. People are going to think what they think about you and it is something you will never be able to control. You cannot control other people. Believe me, they are going to think what they are going to think, and there’s nothing you can do about it. People around you get to choose what they think, same as you get to choose what you think. If they’re on the fence about you; the amazing thing about how we carry ourselves is we can instruct them how to think about us through our actions and words.

How do you show people that you are well-liked? First part of that is you MUST like yourself. You can’t really show people that you’re well-liked by others, because remember – you can’t control other people. Besides, in all reality that would be weird and creepy anyway – be self-confident, not a creeper. You can show people that you’re well-liked by liking yourself when you show up to life. You are able to show others by how you teach people; how others should treat you is how you treat yourself. If you show up in any situation and you treat yourself with respect, kindness, love, and then you have that kind of overflow to liking the other person and showing up and liking them and acknowledging them; it instructs them that you are someone to be liked. You hold your head up, you walk without a slouch, you look at people when they speak to you, you smile, etc. This is projecting an image for others to formulate their opinions off you. You can’t control them, but you can assist them – for lack of a better term.

Biblically, this is found in Luke. Scripture indicates that “the heart speaks from the overflow of the heart” (Luke 6:45). Not only did Luke take the time to write this down, other books of the Bible hold the same concepts. Take a look at Proverbs where it is spoken that “whoever guards their mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruins” (Proverbs 13:3). Obviously if this is a concept understood thousands of years ago – people have not changed that much too where this is no longer valid. The situations around us may chance but how we enter into them have not.

Now, keep this in mind; they may or may not like you. Even though you truly cannot control that, you have at least instructed them. Some people are never happy, so by default they could care less if you’re the greatest person on the planet – they still won’t like you. Do not take it personally and most of all do NOT let it get you down. Unfortunately, these people do exist and they do not wear a name tag to identify it. You will know them, when you meet them and not a second before.

Think about something that a lot people around you like. It makes you want to try it right? It makes you want to like it. Example; if I say to you, “Oh my goodness. I love the new Christian singer at my church. You have to listen to his music,” then you’re probably thinking, “I want to love him too, when does he sing?”……. right? If someone tells you that they love something, you’re like, “I want to love that. I want to know that. If you love him, I might love him too,” but the great reality is you can do that with yourself.

However, I am going to shoot totally straight with you – You don’t walk around saying, “I love me”, “Look at how awesome I am”, “I am the best ever”, “I am the single greatest thing since sliced bread!” Although you very well may; a lot of people will think that’s weird, conceded, prideful, your full of yourself, and in all honestly – no one wants to be around that nor anyone who is like that. But you can act that way. You can show up to life that way. That can be your truth, and when you speak about yourself, you speak in a very respectful & optimistic fashion. People who need to walk around and tell you how awesome they are, tell you all their accomplishments, tell you how much things they have cost…..if they showed you rather than boasted about it – they would come off as weird, prideful or conceded.

Now on the flip side of this, I cannot begin to tell you how many people I hear talk about themselves in a very derogatory way. Not just in the community but on the TV and in magazines. They talk about themselves and their lives in a very negative fashion. Most people don’t even realize they’re doing this throughout all of their conversations. They don’t realize that they’re saying horrible things about themselves and therefore painting a horrible image of themselves.

Just know that you’re instructing people how to think about you by how you think & treat yourself. Self-confidence makes it easy for people to like us because we are setting the record straight about who we are as vibrant individuals. You’re showing them, “Oh I’m someone to be liked in case you were wondering”, “I am valued & humbled”, “I stand firm in who I am and not how everyone thinks I should be”.

Cheers & Blessings!!

Marissa Patrick
Christian, Life Coach, Speaker, Author/Poet
Catch me on FB! 

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